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Most striking to me in recent sociological studies about interracial dating and marriage, is that on every measure, African American women seem to come out at the bottom of the pile.

Despite the steamy scenes on ABC's hit show, (and yes, I am a fan), most single black women are not dating white men (and certainly not hunky white men who hold high government offices and are willing to risk all they have achieved for illicit love).

Many single black women are instead finding themselves ignored in today's dating scene.

I wish my male relatives luck and joy in their relationships, but I also feel a pinch when I watch them with their girlfriends.

It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I cannot help but dwell on who might be coming to dinner.

Last holiday season gave me plenty of food for thought on this all too familiar and often uncomfortable racially-tinged question.

Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.

Certainly my reaction links back to a few bad apples in my own young dating years.

Genetically speaking, there are no racial categories; race is merely skin deep.

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