Iranian dating customs dating friendship personals

Dating non-Jewish or non-Iranian boys has both pros and cons—boys outside the community and sub-culture cannot circulate personal information.

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Although parentally-condoned dating is pervasively off-limits to girls, the social aspect of traditional Iranian culture largely involves extravagant parties, loud music, sexually suggestive Arabic dancing, alcohol consumption and late-hours.

This custom warrants a parallel and accepted party-scene for teenagers, providing girls the opportunity of taboo dating, revealing clothing, and a sexually charged atmosphere that directly contradicts previous notions of propriety.

While daughters are prohibited from early dating and sexual experimentation, boys are encouraged as they are understood to have an untamable sex drive which overrides the previous religious dogma that straps the figurative chastity belt on girls and female adolescents.

In addition, while Rubin’s charmed circle of acceptable sex includes “monogamous,” alongside marriage and heterosexuality, the Jewish-Iranian community of Los Angeles turns a blind (or naïve) eye to husband infidelity—while unfaithful wives, like homosexuals, do not exist as alternatives.

There is a small minority of girls who disregard certain or all sexual and social regulations and risk the consequence.

Many girls uphold the virginal values of the sexual hierarchy, but worry that being seen with a boy, public affection, or having a boyfriend can be misconstrued as indications of genital-contact, even if the relationship does not. Therefore, the aim to be sexually proper is actually an aim to seem sexually proper—therefore contradicting the foundation for morals themselves.During earlier teenage years, these parties are chaperoned by parents, who allow behavior to take place, but often circulate whose daughter did what.Teenage girls know very well not to hold hands, dance too closely, or kiss boys while parents make rounds.On the whole, the process of engagement and matrimony creates a modernized version of Rubin’s gift economy.A beautiful daughter in good standing with refined social graces can allure a suitor of greater status.Teens, like parents, report behavior to one another, and while dating is acceptable in the youthful sub-culture, sexual behavior still damages the reputation of girls.

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