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In 1999, I was young and freshly divorced from my sexually abusive husband, and sober for the first time.

I initially found AA roughly 20 years ago, filled with trepidation and with zero self-esteem.

Much to my surprise, I had been diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis after seeking psychiatric help for what I thought was depression. I knew I was an alcoholic, but since drugs were the current problem, I went to NA.

This may be part of the reluctance, then again it may not. Patience is key in the situation you describe, there could be many variables. Sounds like this person is not ready for a commitment.

He probably enjoys your attention and so he keeps dangling the carrot in front of you.

I was 30 years old and thin to the point of illness.

Years of subsisting on crystal meth and nothing else – especially food and sleep – had taken a toll, but I was young enough to bounce back.

Alcoholics are like that very selfish and self centered so be very careful especially if he is not open to having you attend AA functions.

In Alcoholic Anonymous there are some meetings closed for alcoholics only.

But from my experience there are so many events like barbeques, picnics, camping, and much more that are open to both AA's and Non-AA's.

It is these type of events that help in rebuilding relationships and family. There someone for everyone maybe he is not the one.

Most NA meetings were filled with men whose sexual overtones before and after the meetings made me uncomfortable and created so much anxiety that I began to dread going. Twenty years later, after many false starts and relapses, I am approaching 7 years of continuous sobriety.

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